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Where Is My Great Big Feeling?

by Japanese Breakfast

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1.
Heft 01:59
I wanna churn like Amish butter I wanna move out Of your way I wanna find what’s There in your stomach If it’s the same dark And it’s too late What if? It’s the same dark coming, the same dark What if? It’s the same dark coming, the same dark oh fuck it all then
2.
Pure Handjob 01:57
I thought I saw a hand glider I wondered if it was tourist season My body is so warm Because my blood is flowing We thought a nice place could bring us both luck things start to go our way We thought a nice place could bring us both luck things start to go our way Boys paint their boats by the water Where is my great big feeling? You bought a tai chi sword to practice It flopped around like a thin limp dick We thought a nice place could bring us both luck things start to go our way We thought a nice place could bring us both luck things start to go our way Where is my great big feeling? Where is my great big feeling? Where is my great big feeling to feel?
3.
Try not to get So righteous About what’s fair For everyone try not to think about my life without you try to channel every light in me to render this benign try not to think about my life without you try to channel every light in me to render this benign
4.
Oh I guess it’s going to be like this Quiet from now on Haven’t I felt enough darkness? And who if not you Will wrap me up in a cotton towel When I’m crying in the shower every morning? You say that I’m old enough I don’t feel old enough You beg me not to swell up with anger Like I do, but I do, but I do
5.
FF69 00:31
magic being mystic feelings final fantasy every morning
6.
PINA COLADA! PINA COLADA! PINA COLADA! Baby You don’t need no Reservations With me Baby We don’t need no Reservations We’re going to Chilis
7.
Happier 00:49
there’s not much to show is there? when you see it from far away you don’t have to make me proud i just want you to be happy happy? happy. happy?

about

I wrote these seven songs as part of a blog with Eskimeaux, Florist, Frankie Cosmos and Small Wonder. may5to12songs.tumblr.com

A few weeks before I played with Frankie Cosmos at Golden Tea House and talked to Greta and Gabby about how helpful June was for me and both expressed a desire to give it a shot for a week.

Working with four other people made the process a little more difficult because it was hard not to feel shitty about my own songs in comparison to how beautiful and well worked everyone else's felt. In the same breath, I felt like everyone was just writing some really vulnerable stuff, and it definitely encouraged me to just be really open and honest about my feelings. I feel like I projected a lot of the small things I knew about these four other musicians and felt really close to them, like we were sharing diaries or something. Florist in particular I met for the first time on Day 2 and saw her wearing a neck brace and speculated a lot of her songs were about her accident and injuries and how difficult that must have been. I also know Gabby from Eskimeaux wasn't on tour with her boyfriend at the time and how she must have missed him and maybe expressed some of that in her songs. I think it's just amazing how different all of our experiences during this week were and what we were all sorting through the same exact period of time and under the same guidelines.

In the beginning I feel like the songs are more diary like. This happened to be the week I went up to NY so it was difficult to find time to write songs. Day 1 and 2 were the sort of impending doom songs. My mother was having a lot of doctors appointments and check ups with the suspicion something was up. Day 3 we found out my mother has a rare form of pancreatic cancer. It was very difficult to write and record these songs after that and that is probably why day 5 and 6 get so silly. I'm hesitant to post this I guess, but I also feel like the musicians I admire the most are those that just put stuff out there, no matter how revealing or hurtful. It's been a difficult time for me and my family and doing projects like this really helps document and sort through these emotions. I also hope anyone else who lost or is struggling with a family member or friend with cancer can maybe find some comfort in these shitty lo fi songs.

credits

released June 6, 2014

all songs written and recorded by Michelle Zauner
Josh Mackie made the beat for Saturday Night 2046
Peter Bradley sang on Saturday Night 2046

thank you to Florist, Frankie Cosmos, Eskimeaux and Small Wonder for sharing this incredible project with me.

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Japanese Breakfast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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